i love when fic writers who have clearly never tried any kind of alcohol in their lives try to write someone drinking bc they’re always like
“he ordered a tall glass of hard liquor. after three large glasses he was feeling tipsy” like babygirl i can’t be sure but i think u just sent this man to the hospital
“the amber liquid tasted sweet” bestie i can assure you it did not
need a bi4bi t4t m/f pairing where the girl is a giant freak and not in the “cute manic pixie” way but in the “unethical experiments in my fucked up laboratory” way and the guy is a golden retriever who thinks he can fix her. and he brings her cute bento lunches and she’s like “bradley shut up put on your fucking gloves and hold this possum down so i can graft these giant grasshopper legs to it”
My one s3 prediction is a bunch of angels in heaven talking about how weird humans are and specifically bringing up kissing like ‘that gross thing where they mush their faces together’ or something and aziraphale like. lights whatever hes holding on fire
people in the replies to that post are acting like it’s mentally well behavior to purchase another kitchen appliance that does something your existing kitchen appliances already do.
I’m in my 30s, please trust me. do not buy kitchen things unless absolutely necessary. you have to store all that shit somewhere and hitting the point where you have no more space happens a lot sooner than you’d expect. do not enter the kitchen section of Marshall’s.
i think if you stopped time and brought a gorilla to a new york deli and then started time again it wouldnt even be startled like it would immediately peruse the menu and order a reuben in sign language
when people are like “the hunger games just stole the plot of battle royale” like listen everything steals from the plot of everything the lion king is just furry hamlet westworld is jurassic park but sexier lost is edgy gilligan’s island there are no original stories and the only good piece of media is jennifer’s body
Michael crichton wrote westworld and jurassic park tho so he just pirated himself
michael crichton keeps TRYING to tell y’all about the evils of capitalism impeding on the progress of science when will y’all LISTEN
Maybe he just doesn’t like theme parks
michael crichton in line for a roller coaster at six flags: fuck this
Jesus Christ, that’s the height at which every rollercoaster and dark ride is a decapitation threat
how am I ever supposed to leave tumblr when it takes me on journeys like this
So this is a visual representation of “are the new users you’re changing the entire app and website layout/features for in the room with us right now”.
it’s always kind of funny to me when people insist that honesty is a virtue and you should always tell the truth because being good at lying is something that’s been almost universally celebrated for thousands of years by pretty much all of humanity. like there are literally multiple folk tales and legends throughout history and across cultures that involve the hero tricking their adversary in order to win, and it’s usually considered a disadvantage to mythical creatures such as faeries that they can’t say things that aren’t true.
